Should they be discussed ahead of time before any spanking occurs? Do you only mention them once they've come close to being crossed? Is it just a certain feeling you have that determines who you make certain limits with? Do you have no limits when it comes to spanking? (or at least any you feel you need to express - ie: don't spank me to death :) Do your limits change? How often?
I remember the first time I went to a spanking party in 2007 and had to fill out the name tags they gave you and pick Dom, Sub, Switch or Other. Those were the only choices on the nametags. Todd's was easy, clearly a Dom. But what was I? We had talked about what kind of spanking I'd be ok with and I had just given a female friend we had seen the night before a hand spanking. I could put 'Dom' but I wanted to be spanked by men, that was what we were here for right? I could put 'Sub' but I didn't really want to get spanked by women (I had never done that before). The idea of checking off 'Other' was a bit too open for my comfort too. So after Todd was done laughing at me for my confusion, he checked both boxes and wrote on the side.. Bottom to Men and Top to Women. Whew.. I was thinking I hope all the decisions this weekend aren't this difficult ;)
Now since then many parties we've attended have colors and the Top and Bottom choices and even a NP - no play option, so they do try to have every option covered.
But do you ever vary from your chosen 'title' at a party? If you could just write it in, what would you put? If the choices were just Dom, Sub, Top, Bottom, or Switch, which box or boxes would you check off?
Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I start thinking about what spanking implement I really love the most. So much of it for me depends on mood and who the spanker is. They all have different nice qualities.
Leather straps are nice for good long spankings...
A wood paddle gives me that THUD I long for and oh it can hurt sooo good...
Aluminum.. paddle or cane.. COLD and HARD.. I just can't express the thrill it gives...
There are many many more..
What implements do you like and why? What do they do compared to the others?
I have only been spanked to tears a couple of times in front of anyone and twice it was with someone I was very close to, enough that I was ok with being disciplined in front of them. The other times were unexpected and out of the shock of the pain being more intense than I had expected. At a ShadowLane party, I experienced the 'family strap' and I had been strapped many times before but something about this particular strap burned like no tomorrow. He gave me 10.. tears were flowing by 4.. on the 10th one I was still feeling the burn from the 1st one. There wasn't really any sobbing, it was more of a waterfall of tears running down my face, a totally uncontrollable cry.. very different than I was used to. I am usually fine 10 minutes afterwards so it's all good but really did leave a lasting impression :)
What are your thoughts..
Should spankings make you cry?
a few tears are ok but sobbing is out?
in private or in public or does it matter?
Everyone has different preferences of what 'works' for them in a spanker/spankee scene and one of the things that I enjoy when I first meet a new spanker is the boldness he comes across with. I like that bit of 'fear' I have when a confident spanker approaches me full force with a direct interest in spanking me and shows me I DO have a reason to be anxious about it. Now this isn't talking he's really going to injure me, it's more of an immediate put me in the zone with intimidation kinda thing.
Now others prefer the more cautious route when first meeting a new spanker and that is a more reserved pace where there is a gentle getting to know you time and then a 'feeling you out' period (not literally unless that's what you are into lol) where they see what your limitations are and what kind of spanking you are in the mood for and then when both people have made it clear they are ready, a spanking is performed ;)
Now of course these descriptions aren't the only ones and many of your own preferences will be a bit different, so share with us what you prefer when meeting a new spankee or spanker.. is it more reservation or intimidation?
Have you noticed that the more you get spanked, the more you want spanked? At least that's how it is for me. If something comes up where there just isn't time or the opportunity to be spanked regularly, I seem to get my head into a space where I don't think of it as often. I mean I still miss it, of course, but I guess it just takes a back seat (pun?) to whatever else is going on.
But when I'm going to parties, meeting new spankos in person, and getting spanked at home frequently, it's ALL I can think about..
I've only had post party drop one time and it was a very different experience and mentally quite taxing and I cried a lot and felt sooo sore and so unable to explain what was happening to me. I'm thankful I don't get Post Party Drop too often.
What I usually have after a party is Post Party Exhaustion and it's where I feel just SO tired and so physically worn that I would love to just sleep for days but life doesn't allow for that so I kinda just wander around aimlessly really not accomplishing much but still soaking in the great times I just experienced at the party :) I much prefer this feeling than the drop because it doesn't come with the mental sadness, instead it's just a matter of pampering myself a bit till I get my energy back (usually about the time my bottom stops being so sore ;)
Have you experienced Post Party Exhaustion? Have you had Post Party Drop? What are your feelings about either or both? Any advice on how to work through any of the affects of either condition?
Have any of you ever been spanked on a boat or attended a Spanking Cruise? Todd and I have talked on and off about getting a few close spanko friends together and taking a cruise together and enjoying some spanking fun in our adjoining or next door rooms, but wouldn't it be great to have a whole section reserved just for spankos?
What's your thoughts on something like this? Would you need it to be the whole ship of spankos to feel comfortable or would just spanking on your deck or your rooms be fun too?